Love, at its core, is both a deliberate choice and an act of giving oneself. It sometimes means setting aside personal desires to meet the needs of your partner, especially when facing life’s toughest moments. This commitment is crystallized in the iconic wedding vows we all recognize, especially the phrase “in sickness and in health.”
What Is the Significance of ‘In Sickness and in Health’?
Despite not being found in religious texts, the wedding vows “in sickness and in health” have woven themselves into the fabric of marital promises for centuries, originating from traditions as old as the 16th century. They underscore a pledge to steadfastly love and serve one’s partner, regardless of the circumstances.
Yet, the gravity of these wedding vows “in sickness and in health” often becomes fully apparent only in the face of adversity. Rarely do couples imagine the most extreme trials of health and well-being as they exchange vows. But life has a way of testing these promises in the most unexpected ways, be it through chronic illness, mental health struggles, or other profound challenges.
The vow, made before witnesses or a higher power, then transitions from a ceremonial phrase to a lived reality. This transition begs the question: Are we truly bound to these vows, especially when they are not explicitly mentioned in religious texts? Ethically and morally, the answer leans towards yes. Just as the simple promises made to a child hold weight, so too do these “wedding vows in sickness and in health” hold significance for your partner.
In essence, the wedding vows “in sickness and in health” are a promise to stand by each other, to support, and to love through every imaginable circumstance. They call for a love that transcends the easy and joyous moments, extending into the times of trial and need. This is the profound, often unspoken depth of the commitment made on one’s wedding day, embodying the essence of “in sickness and in health” through every high and low.
In my personal journey of 11 years of marriage, these vows have been tested and upheld daily. My husband, despite the usual forgetfulness and stresses of life, has embodied the essence of “in sickness and in health” through every high and low. His unwavering support through both physical and mental health challenges has been a testament to the depth of his commitment.
Not every journey is smooth, and not everyone may feel equipped to handle the challenges that come with serious illness or disability in a partnership. It’s in these moments, however, that the essence of the vows invites us to respond with the compassion and unconditional love exemplified by figures like Jesus.
In essence, the vows are a promise to stand by each other, to support, and to love through every imaginable circumstance. They call for a love that transcends the easy and joyous moments, extending into the times of trial and need. This is the profound, often unspoken depth of the commitment made on one’s wedding day.
Husband and Wives
The Bible describes to us different types of women and men. The most popular being the Proverbs 31 woman who takes care of all things and is of course portrayed as the ideal, or as Genesis 2 tells us, the man who goes out to work, in this case, Adam into the Garden of Eden.
But what if your marriage doesn’t look like that? What if your roles are different due to illness, be it temporary or permanent?
To answer this, we must read into the fifth chapter of Ephesians a little deeper. It reads in verse 21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
But then we see a breakdown of how each spouse is supposed to love the other, as verse 22 of Ephesians 5 reads:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord…… as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Here we see a specific outline: women are to submit to their husband who is submitted to God. This word here submit basically means to be selfless, to serve him, and respect him.
Nowhere here is there a specific time frame on submission but it is required in all marriages as though onto God, whether you feel like it today or not. (However, I will say if you are in an abusive relationship, get help immediately whether you are a man or woman — biblical submission is not included in abusive relationships).
We see here that there is an expectancy that the wife will serve the husband whatever the need. If he is unable to help in his roles, she can come alongside and serve him as Christ would have served the church. Then we read:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her …… In this same way, husband’s ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:25, 28-30).
So already here we see the proper order: men are to love their wives sacrificially also. This is a two-way street. Both parties’ roles may differ, but the main aim is the same; to love, to sacrifice for the other, and most importantly to submit to God and live a life together in happy unison.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reminds us that two are better than one, for if one falls, the other will pick up his fellow, also stated is if two lie together one can keep the other warm. From this, we see relationships are vital as we can help each other in the areas we need help in.
Then again in Ephesians 4:32, we read: Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. And so not only do we see a relationship of sacrifice but one that is forged from tenderness and love. These are important godly attributes to have.
More Than a Vow
When the rubber hits the road so to speak, it is then that these vows matter most. The best piece of advice I could give a woman or man getting married now is simple, if you both enter marriage with an attitude that chooses to give 100% of yourself to the other, you both choose to submit to God and respect each other, you both choose to serve as the Church serves Christ, then when these things come up you will both be able to have your needs met.
Cre:christianity.com